Previously, I referred to Scott Peck, the author of The Road Less Traveled: A New Psychology of Love, Traditional Values, and Spiritual Growth. Peck is an example of those whose work I value without issuing a carte blanche statement of acceptance of all they say. Consider the following as iron that can sharpen iron.
Until you value yourself, you won’t value your time. Until you value your time, you will not do anything with it.
Love is the will to extend one’s self for the purpose of nurturing one’s own or another’s spiritual growth… Love is as love does. . . is both an intention and an action. . . We do not have to love. We choose to love.
Genuine love is volitional rather than emotional. The person who truly loves . . . has made a commitment to be loving whether or not the loving feeling is present. …Conversely, it is not only possible but necessary for a loving person to avoid acting on feelings of love.
We must be willing to fail and to appreciate the truth that often ‘Life is not a problem to be solved, but a mystery to be lived.’
Life is complex. Each one of us must make his own path through life. There are no self-help manuals, no formulas, no easy answers. . . . The journey of life is not paved in blacktop; it is not brightly lit, and it has no road signs. It is a rocky path through the wilderness.
Since [narcissists] deep down, feel themselves to be faultless, it is inevitable that when they are in conflict with the world they will invariably perceive the conflict as the world’s fault. Since they must deny their own badness, they must perceive others as bad. They project their own evil onto the world. They never think of themselves as evil, on the other hand, they consequently see much evil in others.
The difficulty we have in accepting responsibility for our behavior lies in the desire to avoid the pain of the consequences of that behavior.
Human beings are poor examiners, subject to superstition, bias, prejudice, and a PROFOUND tendency to see what they want to see rather than what is really there.
Whenever we seek to avoid the responsibility for our own behavior, we do so by attempting to give that responsibility to some other individual or organization or entity. But this means we then give away our power to that entity.
Abandon the urge to simplify everything, to look for formulas and easy answers, and to begin to think multidimensionally, to glory in the mystery and paradoxes of life, not to be dismayed by the multitude of causes and consequences that are inherent in each experience — to appreciate the fact that life is complex.