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Overheard in the mind of an “experienced” but frustrated veteran of life!!

Have you met the one in whose mind runs the following????

  • I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger.
  • There is great need for a sarcasm font.
  • How are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
  • Was learning cursive really necessary?
  • Bad decisions make good stories.
  • Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.
  • You may not know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you realize your productive output for the day is done.
  • I almost always worry when I exit my Word document and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page document that I think I did not change.
  • I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello?), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voice mail. Did the caller drop the phone and run away?
  • I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste!
  • I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
  • I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
  • Sometimes, I’ll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had absolutely no idea what was going on when I first saw it.
  • I would rather try to carry 10 over-loaded plastic bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.
  • I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
  • How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear or understand a word they said?
  • I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to prevent someone from cutting in at the front. “Stay strong brothers and sisters!”
  • Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
  • There’s no worse feeling than that milli-second you’re sure you are going down after leaning your chair back a little too far.

The author desires to remain anonymous!!!.  I can understand why.

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