A close friend, confident enough with me to hide very little of his thoughts, asked me a favor. He has been reading my on-line posts, and realized that I had been quite open with some of my thinking. But, he was not sure he wanted to be known as the author of some of what has been going through his mind. So, he asked if I could post what he had written without identifying the author. I said, “Yes, I can do that.” The following is what he gave me to share with you.
- “ I finished Till We Have Faces by CS Lewis this morning. I don’t know how fiercely I wept when finishing it the first time I read it (it was many years ago), but that was the case this time. I had already felt the tears welling up several times at different spots in the book, but the end was the most emotional for me. It is almost happening again as I write this.
- “My mind goes back to particular sections in Mere Christianity, where Lewis refers to God’s purposes for us, and that He will achieve it – we will be made perfect, The price may be high, but God will turn the tin soldiers into flesh. We will be changed. That is how much he loves us.
- “I think of myself. I think of Tara, and what she is now after the agony she experienced with her health.
- “Just as Orual wanted to see Psyche again, and be with her, that is the way I feel about Tara. Yet, even my wanting to be with her again is due to the joy I would get!! And, that makes me pensive – to be again with the one I love more than any other human is still a self-centered desire. How can we escape the egoism that runs so deeply? Only by having a Godly nature (but that is not saying it correctly, since we will never be Godly as God is Godly) No, it is only when we have a God derived nature will we be finally free of selfishness. Only then will I be able to desire to be with Tara, but sinlessly.
- “Can I bring myself to desire Godliness so deeply that I would be willing to give up ever seeing Tara again? Is that, however, a false dilemma? Can I not want to be with Tara again without dishonoring God in the process? Can I have my cake and eat it too? Or is that even a fallacious question in this context?
- “I knew it would be hard to read Till We Have Faces. But, I could not not read it. For my own health, I need to work through this morass of my emotions.”
Mission accomplished, my dear friend.